Oh, and for those who have expressed interest in the actual inside of the truck, here is a pic of my bunk, where i write this blog and try to escape the summer heat. It's basically a regular size twin mattress. Note the cooler to the left of the photo, which plugs into a 12-volt car charger and keeps stuff 40 degrees cooler than the ambient temperature. A nice birthday gift from the family!! :-) Currently full of Mountain Dew, yogurt and string cheese.
To follow up a little more on yesterday's post:
I've wasted a lot of time over the years dwelling on what i am not, rather than what i am. I think that contributes to the whole notion of not having a sense of self. So in my continuing effort to correct that, here are a few of the things that i am:
1. I'm a good dad. There has certainly been major room for improvement, but it is a defining thing for me.
2. I'm a good writer. I've been a writer ever since i did my neighborhood newspaper while in grade school.
3. I'm a pretty good hobbyist musician.
4. I'm someone with boundless curiosity and a need to experience and explore new things.
5. I'm a person with a good heart who does not like to see people get hurt. I can be a very good friend.
Of course, recognizing positives requires recognizing negatives:
1. I get my feelings hurt too easily.
2. I can hold a grudge for a long time.
3. I tend to look to others for approval (this is getting better though).
4. I often will say what i think others want to hear.
5. I tend (like many of us) to look out for my interests/desires first. I'd really like to change that.
So what's the point of all this? Well, i feel like i'm kind of painting a self-portrait. Something i've never honestly done. And it's something that probably would not happen without the time for introspection afforded by this trucking gig. And that's a gift.
I'm also getting a sense of what is important to me and what is not. Things that are definitely NOT as important to me now (but which seemed so critical to me six months ago) include: a country club membership and golf as often as i want, eating out all the time, drinking good wine, hanging out downtown so to be sure not to "miss" something that everyone was doing or talking about, having a large, beautiful home..... God, that all seems so long ago.... On the last point, right now i don't even have a home! Everything i own is either in storage or in this truck. Again, not singing the blues. I feel pretty blessed to be where i am right now, as i have a real chance to turn things around and make some serious life changes. And i'm not even 50 yet! Not everyone gets that chance. Or is willing to take the chance....
Stay safe....
KWA
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